Thursday, August 19, 2010

When Families are Bullys

Creepy cat sweaters. What families think are cool.

It's a curious thing that the only real put downs I ever get are from my family. Most strangers in my area are at least polite enough to abide by "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." But families seem to be above that one easy rule, it's no wonder teenagers are neurotic messes growing up.

Admittedly there are family's out there that support their children accordingly, I've only met one myself.

Yes, this is an appropriate outfit for a 10 year old

As a preteen my mom started throwing away clothes she didn't want me to wear. And guilted me into wearing items that got me made fun of in school. I refused get my license until I was 18 because all my mom would do when I sat in the drivers seat was scream at how wrong I was doing things, and my grandpa would only allow me to drive in circles at a parking lot. My mother lives 2 states away from me and several weeks ago called and informed me that I will be getting fat soon so I should start dieting now. Which I tried to ignore but it sent me into a flurry of exercising until my friends finally convinced me that no, I wasn't fat, and forced something unhealthy down my throat.

I clearly remember getting made fun of during the first and only time I wore this so school. Those are pants BTW.

I went to visit my grandparents the other day when my hair was "hime-style", and they told me I looked like I was going to Clown Prom. It's hurtful to hear that stuff from your own family, and incredibly detrimental to your well being, it took me YEARS to figure out who I was, what I liked, to have opinions separate from theirs, much longer then most of my friends. Why do family's do this to us?

Why They do It.

The truth is, and it's horrible to say it out loud, but they think they're doing us a favor. My mom screamed at me while driving so I would remember not to make that mistake again, my grandpa only had me drive in a circle because he wanted to avoid anything that might put me in a bad situations all together. Two different styles which ultimately forced me to come to the same conclusion in two different ways, I sucked. My mom screaming at me as a corrector only told me that I was a bad driver and should not me allowed on the road. My grandpa only allowing me to drive in circles subconsciously told me that he didn't think I was ready for the real road.

And I'm sure everyone has had a family member make a nasty remark on the hair style they chose, or the clothes they wear. Family's do this believe it or not, because again they think they're doing you a favor and trying to protect you. They don't like your hair or clothes so they assume other people won't either. They want to keep you from a situation where you might get hurt, so they try to hurt you first.

What Can You do About It?

You can't change your family's opinions, don't try you'll just become frustrated and bitter when nothing works. And don't lash out and put down their fashion choices, you don't like it when it happens to you, so don't do it to anyone else. Instead treat them like any other bully and ignore them when they put you down, or change the subject, political goings on or world news usually works best with my family.

You could choose NOT to dress that way in front of your family and that's okay. Or you could dress like that ALL the time in front of your family, if you still act the same as you always do and ignore their bad behavior it will take all the fun out of dragging your name through the mud and eventually they'll move onto more important topics. Remember familiarity breeds comfort, that why so many old people like Jeopardy.

If your mom is like mine and throws away your clothing while your at school, take to hiding your favorite items in odd places. I hid shirts in boots, and I hid other items between my mattress and box spring, behind pictures, and books on my book shelf.

If all else fails grow up, get a job, and get your ass out of there.


  1. I've been using the name Dynah Moe online lately. When I saw my folks this weekend my dad joked at me "But you're not energetic enough to be a dynamo!". It kinda stung, even though I don't think he meant it that was. At least, not entirely...
    I told him that was the reason for the name change. I aspire to be a dynamo, and chose a name that inspires me.
    My dad's comment only reminded me that I'm frequently lazy and tired. I just know I'm gonna hear my dad's voice in the back of my head at weak moments....
    But even if Dynah Moe little too big for me right now, it's a name I'll grow in to.