Grilled Cheese Grill

 

It's positively sinful that it's taken me this long to get out to one of their THREE locations around Portland, I LOVE grilled cheese, it's my go to comfort food. But with all the amazing food carts out there how good could it possible be? The answer...very.

 With the motto of "Come have a taste of your childhood, unless your childhood sucked, then we'll let you have a taste of ours" how can you go wrong? Grilled Cheese Grill has a menu consisting of traditional to off the wall combos. I met a friend there and we both got The Jalapeno Popper: roasted jalapenos, colby jack, cream cheese, and corn tortilla chips on sourdough. It was magnificently spicy.

They also have what I hear is a fantastic tomato soup (because what's grilled cheese without tomato soup), though I didn't have any myself. Next time.

The Alberta location has outdoor seating and also an old renovated schoolbus for a little bit of shelter. So if you're in the area you should probably stop by.

Qwertee: Loki Charms

Awhile back Ript Apparel sold a Loki Charms shirt and I didn't know about it until long after it was gone. I was devastated, what I wouldn't do for a Loki Charms T-shirt! But then Qwertee got hold of the print and I jump on it faster then Thor on a snowman... I know that was a terrible joke.

My shirt! I'm so happy, it came with Haribo soda-pop gummies which is awesome AND random.

I wouldn't normally buy from one of those "1 Deal a Day" sites. I usually come to find they're not such a great deal, and I like buying multiple shirts at one time and you really can't do that on those kind of sites. Qwertee charges 12$ for today's shirts and 14$ for yesterdays, with an extra 6$ for shipping. It's not a bad for something that get's made after you order it but not a steal either. Also they ship from the U.K so it took awhile to get to me, it's understandable, but everyday I had no Loki shirt was like a fresh wound to my soul. Dramatic? Maybe.

Ript Apparels version for comparison.

As you can see my shirt is a different shade of green, my print isn't actually smaller it's just the way it's laying and my shirt is longer then Ripts that makes it seem that way. My print is a little dotty up close, but looks just fine from further away. The fabric of my shirt is fantastic, it's soft but seems like it will hold up for a long time, it's long-ish which I always appreciate in women's shirts. In fact my only real problem is even though it says 'Women' on the label it seems to have ignored that women have curves and it's too loose around the waist and too tight around the hips.

I might buy from Qwertee again, but only if they had a print I really, REALLY wanted.

10 Things Not to Say to Depressed People

I've recently had trouble managing my depression. I don't often chat about my personal problems, and I do try to keep it light and fluffy so I won't be going too in depth into my issues, but I felt I needed to address a few things here. When it's under control you'd have no idea I even had depression, but when it starts acting up it's a pretty miserable experience for myself and the people around me. On top of that, at the forefront of a lot of the problem are friends and family members who really just don't "get" what depression is and are consistently saying the wrong thing and sending me into a spiral. Then of course they say them again, it's a pretty vicious cycle.

I was at a loss to explain to these people why what they were saying was hurting me because in theory a lot of these things they said should make sense, and shouldn't manage to hurt me. In my search I came across someone who did the work for me so I don't want to take credit. Please visit Notch Notch on her blog to read the original post. Numbers 9 and 5 get thrown at me quite a lot.

1. “Remain Positive”
I think: Duh! I know – but how? To me, my reality is that the world has already caved in. What is irrational to you makes utmost sense to me. I’m so angry / upset / sad / lonely / devastated / hopeless / in despair… Why can’t you understand me?
I feel: Recoil further into my shell to avoid future contact and meaningless advice because you never told me how to remain positive.


2. “Don’t think like that”
I think: Why not? What’s wrong with thinking like I do? It’s an honest opinion. I really think this. It’s negative all right, but that’s what I think, so what’s wrong? So how should I think instead? Like you? But I don’t agree with you, and then I become you if I think like you…? 
I feel: I did something wrong for thinking a certain way, and you reprimanded me for thinking so. Thus, I withdraw, and berate myself for thinking the way I do, and spiral further down into depression due to self-criticism. 

3. “Pull yourself together” / “Snap out of it” and the likes
I think: How? Snap out of what? I don’t want to be like this either, you think it’s fun?
I feel: Feel completely useless and hopeless that I’m incapable of holding myself together and getting better. Depression snowball with this sense of incompetence.


4. “Why do you need to be depressed?”
I think: Umm… I don’t know, I wish I knew. Doctors said it’s because of some imbalance in serotonin in me. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!!
I feel: Accused of committing a heinous crime to be depressed. Confused because I don’t know what happened to make me depressed and how it all happened. Lost since I don’t know how to get out of depression. Feel inferior and worse about myself, so I hide from you as well because I don’t want to feel inadequate. 


5. “Look at how lucky you are already! Be thankful”
I think: I am thankful for what I have. But what does that have to do with depression? Doctors and every website I’ve read say depression is an illness and has biological factors. Depression needs to be treated as any other sickness. You are lucky too, be thankful – stop having a freaking cold and sneezing germs into the air I breathe!
I feel: Misunderstood as a spoiled, ungrateful little girl when I’m not. Frustrated for being misunderstood, cry, wail, sad. Retreat into my hiding place – again.


6.  “Go do something and you will feel better.”
I think: Go do what? I can’t be bothered. I’m tired. I’m not interested. I have no energy. I just want to sleep. Doing something won’t make me feel better. Leave me alone.
I feel: Tired and lethargic, and no energy to think about what to do. Harassed because you keep telling me to do something.
(N.B. What did work, was instead of telling me to do something, my fiance simply made me put my clothes on, slid me into my boots, and dragged me out of the house for a walk, talking about random things on the way, not once mentioning anything to do how I was doing or asking if I felt better.)


7.  “What’s wrong with you?”
I think: I WISH I KNEW. I wish I knew. Oh how I wish I knew. Can you tell me? Can somebody tell me? I don’t want to be like this. Why am I like this?
I feel: Absolutely hopeless because I don’t know why I became like this, and I was unable to find out the reasons behind my depression. Very belittled and angry at myself. Can’t deal with this. I might as well die.


8. “You should do this…” or “You should not do this (such as kill yourself)…”
I think: Why? This is my life, I'm allowed to end it if I want to. Why should I eat? I’m not hungry.
I feel: Patronized by your condescending tone (even if you didn’t have one). Rejected for not doing what you think I am supposed to. Another bash to my already dwindling self-confidence – you just succeeded in making me feel more desperate and more depressed.


9.  “See how others suffer even worst, and have no food to eat, be grateful for what you have”
I think: But you told me not to compare myself with others when I told you I was envious of others who have achieved more than me. So how double faced is it that just because others are less fortunate I can compare with them? I know you are trying to tell me I should count my blessings – I do, trust me I do. But how does this solve my depression? I still feel that life is not worth living despite being grateful for what I have. I am too tired to carry on and try.
I feel: Baffled as to why sometimes you say don’t compare and other times you tell me to do so. I don’t understand how being thankful makes me feel better, because what I have now has no meaning and no value to me. I JUST WANT TO DIE. Maybe if I die, there’d be more food for those who don’t have any. Proceed to jumping out the window from 30^th floor.


10.  “It’s all in your head…”
I think: IT’S NOT! But I know. How do I change my head? It’s not my fault. I didn’t want this. I can't control it. I’m trying but I can’t!
I feel: Furious at myself for not being able to control my head and thinking. Inept at everything I’m trying to do and worse, for disappointing you. Alone that no one can understand me. Alienate myself. Doomed to fail; might as well die…

My hope is that these 10 items will spread like wildfire (wishful think on my part most likely), I want them to become common knowledge so that no one will ever tell someone with depression that it's "All in your head", cause it's not, it's frustratingly real.

-Arika

Chocolate Fest: 2012

Chocolate Fest was delicious as always, I went on a Saturday this year and it was super busy but I think it would have been busy no matter what day you went. They had tons of samples, cooking demonstrations, oh it was so awesome. I might say my only disappointment was the Cocktail at the SakeOne booth this year. I usually look forward to trying what they come up with but this years was really just boring.

I totally dragged Brenna with me and made her dress up, her goal was to find delicious hot and spicy chocolate, which was actually pretty easy since just about every booth had a variation of it, just a continuation on a theme I saw last year. Bacon is on the out, but interesting flavors like curry, rose, and pink peppercorn are on the rise.

These are the truffles from Coastal Mist, I bought a big box of them and they were delicious, my favorite was the Blood Orange and Honey truffle.

JaCivas cute booth babes, this company excels in cute.

I got my Chocolate Salted Caramel French Macaroon. I was soooo happy, it was delicious.

Brownies from Heaven booth display.

Beautiful chocolates from Forte.

Brenna found Some delicious spicy toffee from Melting Pot Candy, and a bar of Ghost Chili chocolate from Lille Belle Farms that includes Pain as an ingredient. Along with my box from Coastal Mist, I bought a bar of Root Beer Fudge from Brevin's Solid Gold Fudge (OMG SOOO GOOD!). I also meant to buy a rose flavored gummy from Willamette Valley Confectionery which of course they don't have on their website. I also have big plans to buy a bag of toffee from Tea-Time Toffee, because it's they best toffee I've ever tried.

On our way out we spotted the Energy Cow and took a picture with it.

It matched me!

Afterwards we went to Boke Bowl for something of substance. I had the pulled pork ramen with an extra slab of pork belly on top. It was good, not as good as Yuzu I think, but still really good after a hard day of eating chocolate.

Brenna got the Seafood Ramen with some shitake mushrooms on the side. Her broth was really good, but I liked my pork better then her seafood.

You can see her makeup in this picture, it's so lovely, I used Meows Greed, Permafrost, and a few others I can't remember.

Good day all around.

Arika and Roses Day of Food

Okay so for Roses birthday present I told her I would take her to her favorite Portland food spots. Little did I know the danger of that statement, the all consuming need to feed, well opposite really, it was a hot day and we were like, we want to eat everything but we're very, very full and hot. It was hard work eating our way across town. But first...

We had start getting cute-ed up, even James had an awesome outfit change.

Shoujo Mafia onesie! Which was Rose, Maura, and Teals cosplay group Before they left for separate corners of the world.

First stop was Burgatroyd for Crack Burger (A.K.A Garden State Burger), it has lettuce tomato, pickled onions, provolone, and chili aoil.

Rose had to feed James, this is her staring longingly at her Crack Burger, mommy duties come first.

I bought myself a Vanilla Peach rooibos and black tea. I'm not a fan of rooibos but this was quite tasty.

Next stop was a short food break at James old NICU, here he is with some of his old doctors.

At Love Via Crepes for some lovely and delicious Japanese style crepes. I had Nutella Banana, Rose had Cupids Arrow with Blackberry ice cream. After that we took another short break and went to Lush. I bought a few things I'll be reviewing soon so watch for that post.

After our break we went to the Hawthorne Food carts for the "one true fried pie" from Whiffies. We actually got these to go. We also bought a milkshake from the crepe cart there. It was a bit of a struggle not to buy a crepe from them. They're different then the japanese crepes but still really good.

Getting fresh with the pin ball machines at Voodoo Too.

This was our last stop, Voodoo was empty, that is a rare thing.

Although these are donuts you wouldn't mind waiting in line for.

So that was our day, crazy and eventful, full of deliciousness. You know you're jealous, maybe if you come visit I'll take you all over town for the best food too.

So I Didn't Win...

Maybe you don't remember the Sugarpill makeup contest I entered awhile back. If not you can refresh your memory here. I was really happy with how my look turned out, It might not have been the wildest look among the bunch but I thought it captured the feel of the contest rather well.

Anyway, an online friend messaged me to let me know that my face appeared on a blog she follows. Kerlis blog in fact! Kerli posted a few of her favorite makeup looks from the Sugarpill Contest and mine was among them. It kinda cool don't you think? Almost makes up for not winning.

Thanks Kerli I'm glad you approve!

Review: Milanoo / An*Tai*Na

I decided it was finally time to invest in some lolita footwear. I was a bit wary when I decided to buy from Milanoo.com, they have a terrible reputation on the EGL fourms, they are known to steal photos from other loli brands, but I also knew the shoes I would be buying would come from a fairly reputable lolita brand called An*Tai*Na, so I thought I'd give it a chance.

First things first, before and after I made my order I talked with their live customer service, they have names like Peggy, and Tracy making you feel like you'll be chatting with a native English speaker. There's no way English is these people first language, they're quite slow in responding, and often rude in a way that makes me think they haven't learned English pleasantries.

From the time I bought the shoes to the time they arrived on my doorstep it took a little over a month and a half. But after I received the official shipping conformation it took 8 days. It really wasn't too bad, but I sent packages to a friend in Korea and Japan the day after I bought the shoes and it took a week for the packages to get to them. There's big difference between 7 days and 45, so on the whole I'll give shipping a 3 out of 10.

Shoes were sent in their regular shoe boxes wrapped in a thin plastic covering which is why they're so beat up. A better company would have tried to package them better but my shoes were unscathed so I can't really complain. The shoes themselves were individualy placed in plastic as well so there was no scuffing on their journey.

Along with my shoes I bought a pair of Secret Shop socks. I've actually been looking at this particular pair for years, something about them captivates me and I'm very happy with them even though they don't match my wardrobe very well.

The fabric seems sturdy enough and super soft on the inside. The first thing I noticed when I pulled them on was that they were quite tight, they fit my legs just fine without washing out the pattern, and being so tight I think I can wear them confidently without sock glue or garters to prevent slipping. But I wouldn't recommend them to anyone with calves on the larger side.

The first pair of shoes I pulled out are my brand new mint version of the popular Tea Parties. I bought all the shoes in a size 8 and these ended up being a little big, not enough for it to bother me though, they are also quite wide. In fact all the shoes I ordered ended up bigger and wider then expected, I assume it's either that the brand runs large, or to there's something in the make to achieve the Lolita doll foot look that just makes it wide.

The heel and sole feel solid enough, I do recommend gel inserts if you plan on walking around in them a lot as there's absolutely no arch support, the shoe itself is made out of material that feels rather flimsy, it will most likely scuff and 'wrinkle' very easily, but hopefully not where will be very visible.

The buckles are cute heart shaped but also very flimsy. Luckily you only have to adjust them once because once you've got them how you want them all the buckles are also attached to snaps. Some people might find these unsightly, but it might be the best part about these shoes (aside from the cuteness). With all the buckles on loli shoes this will really cut down on dressing time.

I've been in need of red lolita shoes for a long time, most of my wardrobe has some shade of red in it. Like with my tea parties I bought these in a size 8, and like with my tea parties they are a bit large and wide, not enough that it bothers me though. I tightened the strap around my ankle (they have the same snaps at the tea parties so I'll only have to do that once) so my feet aren't slipping every which way, and that works for me.

Both the bow at the toe and on the strap are removable, and I like the material used on these the better then the tea parties, it's matte instead of shiny, I still think it will be susceptible to 'wrinkles' but will hopefully be less noticeable in the long run.

These are SOOOO cute! I didn't really need this pair, but I thought having a pair of loli sandals would be a smart buy. They have the same kind of snap buckles that other pairs have, and are made of the same type of shiny material the tea parties are. Except the white parts which are matte. Unfortunately they are HUGE! There's a good 1 1/2 difference in size between my foot and these shoes. Unlike the size difference with the other pairs it's so big I can't wear them, in fact I think Milanoo sent me these in the wrong size. I'm trying to work out returning them for maybe a size 7, but Milanoos return policy sucks so we'll so how that goes. If not I'll try selling them, there's nothing else wrong with them aside from the size.

In the future I might buy from Milanoo again, but probably only things like shoes and socks because I know exactly where they come from. I will also try to buy in a smaller size.

EDIT: Never buy from Milanoo guys. I sent them off an email about the pink sandals the day the package came in the mail. They gave me the run around until the 7 day return period ran out, then they stopped answering my emails. I even messaged them on their facebook page but they didn't reply.

Terrible customer service. I'd rather pay a little bit more at some place that I can actually make returns to if I need to.

Cosplay: Anime Vice

My friend Gia works as a reporter for Anime Vice, she used to live in the area, but recently moved to California to be closer to the 'Vice' main office. She knows a little bit about everything going on in the anime world, it was really cool to get a chance to hang out with someone who can drop science on you like that.

Last year we did a series of videos together documenting the making of a Sheryl Nome costume I was sewing for her. We were hoping to do something more complicated, but I was working on three costumes for Sakura-con at the time and the convention she hoped to wear it to was only a month and a half away, so we kept it simple.

So here are the videos that came out of that...






And as a nice bonus for me, here's a video of Gia wearing the costume while interviewing people. And having her picture taken.


Check out Gias website, it really has a lot of awesome stuff.